a new me? hopefully

Since the birth of Brandon, our B1 who weighed in at a whopping 10lbs,2ozs, I have struggled with anemia. It's been challenging because since then I have lacked energy, experienced dizziness and many headaches but also been denied for donating blood, which is important to me. At the delivery of Britton, B3 and our last baby, Gracelyn, I honestly could have died. My hemoglobin counts bottomed out and I received blood transfusion(S) before being discharged. With Gracelyn due to the extremely low counts, I had to wear oxygen while giving birth and my epidural med was kept at low doses. Anyway, that's all to say that while my anemia issue started almost 9 years ago (AHHHH, yes I will have a NINE year old in April,) it's progressively gotten worse.
So yesterday I began iron infusions. I met with a hematologist last February about an infusion but then Gracelyn became sick with botulism and obviously she took precedence. I was quite scared going into the hospital yesterday. I felt kind of like the first time, right after I had Britton when the doctor came in and told me that I needed a blood transfusion. I honestly freaked out then, the idea of receiving another person's blood was a lot to take in at that time. I didn't "freak out" yesterday. Not like I did 3 years ago anyway. I cried on my way to the hospital, but then honestly in the 2 hours while this nasty looking stuff was running into my veins


I laid back and enjoyed the quiet and the hope of a new Kendra, a "new" mom of 4 special babies and wife of a great husband. I will have 3 more infusions, every 2 weeks for 2 months. Here's to hope and faith!

She's 15 months old now!!

Gracelyn is 15 months old now! She is so full of life... and expressions and personality and attitude! She is a one fun little girl.

she is a HAM! she dragged her laundry basket into the kitchen, found the pantry door open and pulled out the peanut butter (which she has NEVER had) and put herself, the pb and her sippy in the basket.
I love my little cupcake head, which her daddy lovingly calls her because of her hat.

Gracie is talking quite a bit and each day I am surprised by a new word. Just some of the words she says, "ball" "cracker" "uh oh" "Brandon" "more" "bye" "flowers" and of course "mama" and "dada." I'm really working on "mimi" with her because she calls her "mama" as well, she does adore her mimi!! Gracelyn has a word for both Blaine and Britton and they match the syllables of their names, I just cannot tell what they are. When you ask her a yes/no question she shakes her head no.... which leads me to her attitude. And Miss G sure has one. She knows what she wants or doesn't want to do and doesn't hesitate to let me know (which includes but isn't limited to posing for pictures.) I asked the pediatrician today about time-out and we will put that into motion immediately.

stats for Miss Gracelyn at 15 months:
height- 30 1/2 inches (50th percentile)
weight- 25.4 lbs (90th percentile)

refusing to face the camera. stinker.

Gracie loves her food. loves it. She loves pasta, most fruit, pork and chicken but not beef and now that she is weaned she very much enjoys whole milk. I was nervous about adding it to her diet with her constipation but it's not any worse since she began drinking the milk. I'm still giving her yogurt regularly and mirilax.

very few smiles for the camera these days BUT she is fulls of smiles and laughs all day long.

Gracie is quite a bookworm, which I think is a major reason she is talking so much. She and I read constantly and I love when she comes up with a book, turns around and back up onto my lap. On Wednesday nights at church the nursery workers know that she loves books too so they read to her book after book, which is great because Gracelyn is in there for a couple of hours and she beginning to adapt.

Gracelyn loves her pacifier, as much as she loves food. The pediatrician said today that we need to start weaning her from it. Oh.my.gosh. I am NOT looking forward to this. She has her pacifier in her mouth a lot and at least half of the time her teeth are clenching it and she's not sucking on it. The paci has been through a lot with her, it soothed her in the hospital while she suffered from botulism, it was her motivation in PT, to get her to roll or move across the mat, sit and lean, pretty much all actions were performed in order to get to her pacifier. In order to not sound like I worship the paci, I will say I wouldn't mind getting rid of it mainly because it's disgusting, it's a germ catcher and for the sake of her teeth.

all-girl

Gracelyn is quite simply a diva. She loves all things girly, already. She drags her shoes out from under her crib (and I'm talking about many shoes at a time, into the living room and wants to put them on), insists on my necklaces and bracelets, attempts to carry my purse (unfortunately I carry one of everything in it so it's a tad too heavy for her), wears her fancy gloves, wants to wear makeup when I am applying mine and grabs my sunglasses every chance she gets.

G in her Uggs!! She loves them!

ONLY Grace

I've heard this song before, many times, but I did today in the car and it was like the Holy Spirit was taking me by the ear and pulling me in closer to LISTEN to it and then shook me like I definitely needed to be shaken. I was left with goosebumps and tears streaming down my face. When I went to unbuckle Britton and Blaine, they asked why I was crying. I told them that I just loved Jesus so much and I was thankful that He loved us. Blaine smiled so big and said ME TOO!!

Hot Rod

Gracelyn received a Pinkalicious Quad for Christmas. When she opened it Christmas morning there wasn't much room for her to ride with all the paper and boxes but we soon cleared the way and she was off! I told Ryan when I saw it before wrapping it that I thought she needed a helmet. He completely cracked up at me but in the videos you will see that she is pretty much fearless.

Family Christmas service

For our church's Family Christmas service on December 15 the children reenacted the nativity scene. Brandon was a wise man.

he is the third

he was only able to keep a straight face for so long when he has a paparazzi mom who won't stop snapping.

between each new "addition" to the nativity story the congregation sang a song pertaining to the upcoming scene. One of the ladies came to me after the service to tell me that while Brandon was up on stage he sang along to the songs. It may sound small and possibly insignificant but I just smiled because I loved hearing that. I mentioned it to him and told him how happy it made me and unfortunately it made him blush. I'm obviously not used to having a big kid that gets embarrassed about things yet. I need to quickly, I suppose.

I made a mental note and now a blog note as well. Our preschool director called me the night before the service and asked if Brandon would be interested in playing a part. He was already in bed but I knew he would be game. She said they had both a wise man and shepherd part available. I was just sure that he'd been a shepherd last year so I said for a change let's do the wise man role. The next day when he came home from school he was so excited to hear that he would be a part of the drama again...until he learned that he was playing a wise man. It turns out that he was a wise man last year too. Mom fail. In true Brandon champion fashion he rocked his role and you would have never known that night at church that he wanted to be anything different. I love that boy!

all of the kids, they did a great great job!

my stepdad's baptism

On Sunday, December 12 my family joined my mom and stepdad at their church for a very special event in my stepdad's life. He was baptized. What a spectacular testimony after the almost 2 years since he was hit by a car while riding his bicycle. It was such an emotional day and Ryan and I were thrilled to be there to be a part of it and support Rick but also for Brandon, our oldest to see it. Brandon is a Christian but it never hurts to remind him on gestures of surrendering yourself to Christ.





We love you Rick!!