saying "Thanks"

I thank God daily, many times a day, for all the many blessings He has bestowed upon me, from an amazing husband, wonderful children, an awesome support system in family and friends that I can lean on, to being able to stay home, oh the list goes on and on. Tonight though I am thanking Him and bawling my eyes out as well.
Gracelyn will be 3 months on Saturday...gosh, I cannot believe that 3 months ago I was preparing to have my little princess. After having to reschedule the delivery due to my family coming down with the H1N1, we were so excited and anxious to meet our baby girl on Friday, October 16. My excitement was soon interrupted as I was getting prepped for the induction and delivery because I was informed that my hemoglobin (iron level) was a 3. The nurse immediately told me the plan of action: fluids before the epidural, a lower dose of anesthesia in my epidural, oxygen up until delivery, oh and at least 4 units of blood before I would be discharged. I knew from the precautions that it was serious. I have battled anemia for almost 8 years now but I had never felt as bad as I had leading up the birth of Gracie nor had I had to undergo those things before giving birth the three previous times.
At 9 weeks post-partum my family doctor wanted to run bloodwork and the Center for Bleeding Disorders at OU Health Sciences Center became involved and wanted some tests run for their information as well. I had the tests run mid December and finally got all the results back on NYE. The results were not good, not only was my hemoglobin still very low but now my white blood cell count was low as well. My doctor called and told me he wanted to repeat them on Monday, the 4th. I did and the second round wasn't any better. The dizziness which leads to nausea and just extreme fatigue are overwhelming at times. The Center at OU called and the hematologist wanted to meet with me today. Ryan and I went and met with him and his PA. We chatted for over 2 hours all about my life history. They were/are trying to find some common links to why I am having such a difficult time with my iron level. I take oral iron tablets each day but my body is simply not responding to them. Nothing was solved or answered today but they are going to attempt to get the OK from my insurance to give me iron intravenously. The cost is very high and the reason has to be good. The doc feels I have a good reason. They are going to do more extensive testing on platelets and just an entire workup.
Ryan and I were excited, almost giddy, at the possibilities that within the next few months I would start feeling normal and healthy and able to run! The PA told me that I was a very lucky girl to be alive. She said that with a hemoglobin level at a 3 and delivering 2 weeks early, had I waited the remaining 2 weeks I may not have been. It was that last comment that brought me crashing down and tonight as I got home and put the boys in bed I literally fell to my knees. God still has plans for me! It makes me ever so thankful to feel so loved by Him and know that especially in this situation. I am terrified of what lies ahead in the medical journey but I am ever so confident that God will take care of me, of ME!!!!